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I don't understand why this article is so long.

It can be boiled down to "I am afraid of rejection, and I don't want to put myself out there."

Rejections suck. We've all been there, and nobody else out there is responsible for your mental well being.

Why are you afraid of a simple "no" or a response out of an obligation? Maybe the person you're asking out to coffee is a Mormon or has high blood pressure and can't drink caffeine, or he/she doesn't like the taste.

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. I know that I personally regret everytime I wanted to ask somebody out or even ask for a raise at work, but didn't, cause "that would be weird".



>I don't understand why this article is so long. It can be boiled down to "I am afraid of rejection, and I don't want to put myself out there."

The same way War and Peace can be boiled down to "it speaks about Russia and Napoleon", to quote Woody Allen.

If it was boiled down to what you suggest, you wouldn't have much of a glimpse on the author's fears and though process, just know that they, like billions of others, "fear rejection".

>Why are you afraid of a simple "no" or a response out of an obligation?

Because they really want the answer to be yes.


Because social anxiety isn't rational. It is, unfortunately, something that a good many people (myself included) suffer from.


Use of pronouns is very important. She uses the pronoun "they" a lot, as though everything that happens to her is inflicted on her.

Instead if she said "I suffer from social anxiety, and I'm working on it" it'd be a much better article.

It's all about the interior vs exterior locus of control.


>as though everything that happens to her is inflicted on her.

Yes, because the things you fear as a result of social anxiety are inflicted on you. They are not things you can control, that's what makes them scary.


Thank you for making my point for me.

Things do happen to you, things you can't control. You can however control your reaction.

You are choosing to be scared, or not enter therapy, or talk to somebody about that.

Maybe you don't have enough money to talk to a therapist, or you have other things on your plate, or your social anxiety isn't a huge problem, something you can deal with.

The onus is still on YOU to deal with your anxiety, not on the world to treat you with kid gloves. Internal rather than external locus of control.


> I don't understand why this article is so long.

It's a humor piece. "Shouts & Murmurs" is the New Yorker's humor section.




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