At age 9 people used to take my stuff and occasionally bully me in a sort of low-grade way. Until I beat the tar out of the main offender. You get a reputation as the smart/nerdy guy that once smashed the jock's head into a wall and nobody really bothers you again.

Bullying should absolutely be stopped by other means, but when it comes down to it these are animal level dominance games amongst young apes and violence does often solve them. I'm not saying it should, but it does.

If/when I have kids they'll be told to defend themselves and that their parents will back them up even if the school doesn't.

One of my fears about telling kids to defend themselves with force is what if the bully has a gang of friends? An older brother? Access to a weapon? How likely is it that a bully, finally beaten by the victim, escalates further?

I have no idea, that would be a study for a psychologist.

I just know that people tend to stop bothering you if you show them you aren't a pushover. You don't have to beat them into the dirt, you just have to hit back.

That would depend on what school you go to. Inner city slum? Move.

Violence is the last resort of the incompetent, the competent use it sooner.

As a kid, figured out that by myself. In elementary school I was the typical victim. The words did not hurt me as the random people I don't care about are just that. Their opinion does not matter. However, that changed the moment it degenerated to physical violence. The problem fixed itself after punching the bully right in the nose the second time he tried the same treatment. That changed the parameters for the whole story. Went through the high school years almost without any physical violence. And by almost any I mean: got sucker punched in the 10th grade. Responded with a hook. That was an instant "calm the fuck down" for the aggressor. That was the last time I punched somebody.

You've it the nail right on the head there. Unfortunately "forced" violence seems to solve many situations.

I wouldn't fight for the sake of fighting. When I used to go clubbing there were a couple of instances where some drunken guys would kick off on me, I attempt not to fight every time, it's hard to talk a drunken mess out of a fight, but if an attack is thrown at me I'll fight back, solely to knock them down in defense and walk off.

I forgot to mention I started following Ju-Jitsu so that if I was thrown somewhere I could land safely. I now use it to defend myself or friends if we find ourselves in a situation like that. It's happened only a couple of times thankfully.

Carefully applied violence is often useful and even socially accepted. It's both sad and interesting.

Though common amongst much of the animal kingdom.

A lot of the mechanisms we have in society are designed to contain or counteract our animalistic behavior, but not all kids are raised well enough or are mature enough to behave and physical correction can work wonders to break errant behavior.

To add fire to this, you don't even need to cause actual hurt. When I snapped at bullys, my attack was largely ineffective in causing actual hurt to him. He easily blocked and dodged my rage infused punches and kicks until I had tired myself out. But it was overwhelmingly effective in stopping the bullying.

I was also bullied until the bully got an ass kicking. For all the bullying he did, he was surprisingly easy to beat up, or maybe he didn't think I was going to punch him.

He actually avoided me afterwards.